Less than a day

By this time tomorrow, I will be in surgery. I dread this. But I know everyone will take care of me. By everyone, I mean Mom, Dad and my friends. I'm packed. I'm going to get my nails done. Shit, even if the rest of me looks like crap, my hands and feet can look nice.

One Week

It's here. The One Week mark. This time next Friday, I will be out of it. My family will be waiting. The closer it gets, the more real it gets. I really dread seeing what I'll see (or not see) when I wake up. And waiting to talk to the doctor to see how bad it is. But I want it over. Done. This will be a real test for Mike. Will he handle everything? Or will I have to handle it through the fog of the drugs that I will be inhaling? Guess I'll find out.

I know Evan will be fine. He's such a little man.

Update on biopsy

Finally talked to Dr. Kitchens today. Mixed bag on the results of the screens. He said that it was very middle of the road, average, exactly what he expected from the biopsy. It was estrogen positive, which he said was good. But it was also progestrone...something... which wasn't good. But no real red flags that are distressing. I won't know the stage until they do the node biopsy...so when I wake up I get to see tubes, a bumpy chest and I get to wait to see him. He will be on call that weekend, so at least if I need him, he will be around. I won't have to deal with a stranger. I think enough people will be seeing me naked - I would like to keep it to a minimum.

Countdown clock

I've added this event to the countdown clock. Don't know why - I usually use that for happy occasions. 8 days, 15 hrs, 53 minutes.

Today I'm thankful for friends.

Today's trials and tribulations

Went to the hospital today for preadmission testing. Uh, they don't have me scheduled for 4/3. The girl at the desk was WONDERFUL. She handled everything with both doctors. It just took a lot longer than I expected.

Before I headed over to the hospital, I stopped in Mtn. Brook Village. A bookstore is closing - you know, one of those cozy little book places where they always have the odd things you are looking for. Cozy, yet pretentious. Anyway, everything they had left was 60% off so I bought a couple of books. I can't believe I've never read Mists of Avalon. That will be rectified soon. I hate to see this place closing, but the manager was saying that even in good times it just broke even. So I can imagine he was going in the hole every month. Guess it's hard to compete with the discount stores.

Evan

Told Evan last Friday night. Basically told him without using the C word. Reminded him of when Grammy and Ms. Rhonda had surgery. And told him that when I came home he would have to be really gentle. And that I wouldn't have my boobs for a while. His reaction? "Ewww. Where will Choc sit?" I love that kid.

He's been giving me hugs and kisses like crazy - don't even have to ask. I just hope that he isn't scared and trying to cover it up. I tried to make sure he knew if he had questions, he could ask me anything - he knows I'll answer honestly. That goes for any subject.

Thought for the day...

This pretty much sums it up...