So much has happened

Since the first surgery, there have been 3 more. One to remove dead tissue from a hematoma. One to insert the port I will need for chemo. One to decide where this damn staph infection is coming from. The tissue expanders at least gave me something to look at. I wasn't completely flat. There was something there. And now, over 4 months later, I'm almost fully expanded. 650 CCs in each.

Recovery from the first was a bitch. I hate relying on other people, but there was no choice. Had to have help taking a shower. Cooking. Cleaning. Everything that involved movement. I had 6 drains. 3 from each side. That had to be emptied and contents measured. Gross.

What bothered me more than anything was the general surgeon's lack of communication. He told us after the first surgery that everything was great and wonderful and I may have to do a little radiation or something like that. But when they got the path report back and it wasn't so sunny, he couldn't tell me about that. He had to let me get blind-sided by the oncologist. 6 chemo treatments, 3 weeks apart. They started on 7/23/09. Should be finished by second week of November.

I've been on some type of antibiotic since 4/3. Most of it was preventative. But it didn't prevent anything. I'm now on IV antibiotics - and have been for a while. Plan to be until at least 8/12 or until this infection is gone.

Let's see...the first chemo treatment. Wasn't bad the first couple of days. It's scary being hooked up to a drip KNOWING that it's going to make you sick and well at the same time. And not knowing what kind of sick you will be. Took it on Thursday, got my Neulasta shot on Friday. Was tired on Saturday. Sunday I was exhausted and the bone pain set in on my legs. Fuck. It was bad. My legs felt like they had been hit with a bat. That was Sunday and Monday. By Tuesday everything was getting better. By Wednesday, I was tired, but it was managable. By Thursday, I was pretty much back to myself. But I milked it all weekend long. I know the next one will be worse. But, I didn't throw up and that counts for a LOT.

But my hair. I put fucshia highlights in it for fun. I already have my wig, one skanky cowboy hat, 2 knit caps and a couple of scarves. And it looks like I'm about to need them. Exactly 2 weeks after the first treatment and I'm getting LOTS of loose hairs. I dread this. I'll probably get it buzzed off Saturday so I will have time to get over it in time for the concert I'm going to Tuesday.

But I hate what seeing me like this had done to Evan. I don't think hate is a strong enough word.